Being Proactive

Luke 6:42″Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother’s eye.

While I was reading “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey, one section in the book particularly caught my eye. It was about being proactive. I’m going to quote it here, because I sometimes have the same problem described.

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“I would challenge you to test the principle of proactivity for thirty days. Simply try it and see what happens…make small commitments and keep them. Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Try it in your marriage, in your family, in your job. Don’t argue for other people’s weaknesses. Don’t argue for your own. When you make a mistake, admit it, correct it, learn from it — immediately. Don’t get into a blaming, accusing mode. Work on things you have control over. Work on you. On be.

Look at the weaknesses of others with compassion, not accusation. It’s not what they’re not doing or should be doing that’s the issue. The issue is your own chosen response to the situation and what you should be doing. If you start to think the problem is “out there,” stop yourself. That thought is the problem.

People who exercise their embryonic freedom day after day will, little by little, expand that freedom. People who do not will find that it withers until they are literally “being lived.” They are acting out the scripts written by parents, associates, and society.”
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That seems like a great message and a great attitude to have in the world doesn’t it?

Be the First to Help

If you want happiness for an hour – take a nap.
If you want happiness for a day – go fishing.
If you want happiness for a month – get married.
If you want happiness for a year – inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime – help someone else.

–Chinese Proverb

At the risk of sounding like I’m a paid blogger for John Maxwell, I’d like to again return to one of his books previously mentioned, 25 Ways to Win with People. Specifically, one of the ways in the book, “Be the First to Help”. I found this after going through the book to do research for Invest and Invite and immediately knew I had to blog on it. It’s something I struggle with on a daily basis. I seem to be so attuned to my personal needs or focused on the task at hand that I will forget to do something as simple as offering someone something to drink. The author breaks it down into four simple points to be successful at being the first to help that I will comment on.

Make Helping Others a Priority. The first point in the book is the strongest for me personally. I need to have a notepad that has this point stamped at the top of every page so that I remember this on a daily basis.

Make Yourself Aware of People’s Needs. This is something that I really think comes natural to everyone. At some point in their lives though, they put this natural ability into the back of their head and forget it. If you make helping others a priority, I don’t think this point will be a challenge.

Be Willing to Take a Risk. The book makes the point that sometimes helping others may actually hurt you, such as helping someone in a competition in which you are a competitor. This is, in my opinion, one of the best situations to help someone, because it really shows them you aren’t helping to gain anything.

Follow Through Once You Begin to Help. Of course, to counter the last point, not following through once you begin or promise to help is one of the worst ways you can help someone. They think less of you, and everything you represent. The goal, of course, is to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

I really like this book because not only does it break Winning with People down into 25 different ways, it also sums everything up at the end of every chapter. An excellent book to use as a resource later down the road.

Invest and Invite

While reading through Creating a Community, I found an evangelism strategy used by North Point Church called “invest and invite.” On the surface, it sounds very simple, and that’s exactly what impressed me so much about the strategy. I’ve been struggling to come up with an effective way to get non-Christians to come to church without giving them the “holier than thou” speech heard round the world daily that just fortifies the non-believer’s thoughts on religion in the first place. This strategy, however, really puts into words the way Jesus ministered throughout his journey here on earth. From the book, “We encourage our attendees to invest in the lives of unbelievers and then invite them to a relevant ministry environment.”

Invest

First, invest. I think it’s very important that this is the first step. I put a lot of thought into how to just get the non-believer to believe. Something that’s very hard to do when the most important part of Christianity is believing. You can’t just start out with talk of belief in an almighty God and if you don’t you’re going to hell. That puts them on the defensive right from the start, and from then on, they have a mental filter for religious talk when you speak. So, how do you invest in someone’s life? Help a person in need? Let’s assume this is a peer, someone at work or at the local gym. They probably don’t need clothing or food. You may not have the opportunity to help them fix a tire or let them borrow a cup of sugar that often. So, how do you invest in a person’s life that is on the same level that you are?

My first thought was to go to another book on my shelf, 25 Ways to Win with People by John Maxwell. The book outlines 25 ways to make others feel better about themselves, therefore appreciate you and value your friendship. I’m going to go over three of them that I think most apply to the goal of getting a person to come to church with you.

1. Start with Yourself. I love the quote out of the book by Harry Firestone, “You get the best out of others, when you give the best of yourself.” Make sure your emotionally healthy and happy. The task at hand involves sharing this happiness with others and showing them Jesus through you and your actions. Remember that investing and inviting a peer will require accountability.

2. Pass the credit onto others. This is especially effective if the person your trying to invite works with you. Selfless acts that build up others. Don’t just do this for this person, but for others also. Make it a daily occurrence to build up other people by crediting them and giving them compliments. People love praise and it brightens their day to get it.

3. Listen with your heart. “The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said” — Peter Drucker. Even though this is a very passive way to invest in someone’s life, it’s one of the most important. Why? Listening opens up opportunities in the other areas. When you really listen to someone, even if they seem to only talk about work, you can often hear needs and problems surface. Maybe this person and their spouse haven’t had a night out in a long time and you could give them a gift certificate to a local restaurant. That’s just one idea, and I’m betting there are plenty more if you really start listening with your heart.

It’s very easy for most people to give money to a charity but investing in peer’s life takes focus. Changing your daily routine from one that focuses mainly on your needs to one that puts some of that focus on someone else will take time. A good way to accomplish this change is notes around the house or at work that will help focus you everyday on your goal.

Invite

There are many different ways to do this. I’d recommend starting small. Invite them to a church function outside of church. The more friends they have from your church, the better chance they have of getting into a routine of attending church. Of course, there are two possible answers to your request.

Yes. Great! Reduce any anxiety they have about attending church by letting them know about what will be going on and be prepared to answer any questions they have about what will be happening. If they are anything like me, then one of their worries might be getting singled out once they get there. If they are nervous about this, take steps to insure this doesn’t happen by calling friends, letting your pastor know about them coming, etc.

No. This isn’t as bad as you think. By investing in someone’s life, it not only helps them, but helps you as well. Hopefully, you now have a friend and there will be other opportunities to get this person involved with church and hopefully in a relationship with Jesus Christ. Also keep in mind that it’s possible that another “Christian” hurt this person and now they are cautious towards religion in general.

For some, this won’t be as rose-colored as I make it seem I know. It can take anywhere from weeks to years to make something like this happen. Trust in God, pray about your goal, and let him lead you to victory. The outcome may be a little different than you expected, or take a little longer than you thought, but by investing in someone’s life and inviting them to church, you’re on the great commission given to you by Jesus Christ.

My Reading List

Not that I think anyone cares, but sometimes I find myself looking for new books to read and often spend more time than I should at Amazon looking for books. Here are just some books that I currently have on the shelf waiting for me to read that are at least worth checking out if you’re in the market for a new book.

The Barbarian Way (Just finished this one)

Creating a Community

The Tipping Point

Today Matters

Of course, all authors were speakers at Catalyst 2005. I really wish I could hear all the authors of books on my reading list before reading them because it really gives you some idea of what they are about. The only one I can say I’m not really anxious to read is Today Matters by John Maxwell. He didn’t really impress me at the conference and the last couple of books I’ve read by him seem like it is republished material that he’s already talked about. I think he has some great ideas and insights, but tends to try to turn those into 2 or 3 books instead of just one. I still buy and read his books for the same reason I read all my other books: new ways to think, vision, and ideas.

The Barbarian Way

Imagine a person that has spent his life in the jungle. He somehow knows how to read, but the only book he has ever read is the Bible. This person would believe that a follower of the almighty God is without limits. That is what I see in Erwin McManus. Someone who hasn’t been domesticated to American Christianity. Someone who doesn’t see limits to Christianity.

The Barbarian Way tries to convey some of that thinking to the Christian who has been domesticated to think that going to church most Sundays out of the year is what being a Christian is all about. In the book, he tries to “unleash the untamed faith within” with many examples in the Bible of barbarian Christians. He challenges you to stop acting civilized when spreading the word of God, and start acting barbaric (The book tells more about exactly what that means). One of the Bible contexts in the book that really hit it home for me was this one.

20And He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” And Peter answered and said, “The Christ of God.”

21But He warned them and instructed them not to tell this to anyone,

22saying, “The Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed and be raised up on the third day.”

23And He was saying to them all, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me.

24″For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it.

25″For what is a man profited if he gains the whole world, and loses or forfeits himself?

26″For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when He comes in His glory, and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.

27″But I say to you truthfully, there are some of those standing here who will not taste death until they see the kingdom of God.”

I’ll end with this tough question. How many Christians do you know (including yourself) that deny themselves, take up the cross daily, and follow Jesus?